Then, he walks up to me and kisses me. Then I opened my e? mail to find a letter from a reader. I've been planning a trip to New York, this check will definitely help me dip out the planning stages and hop a plane to the big apple sooner than expected. I couldnt move to another cashier since the smart cashier cancelled my voucher and fed it into the system.

It's finally being played. I want to stress that what I said next wasn't exactly a lie, it was more of an, uh, miscalculation, a slight underestimation of what would be needed. It doesn't hurt that what she realized she wanted was me. The girl that lived upstairs said that she saw him messing with my door when she got home and heard me ask what he was doing in my house, and then him having his ass kicked a few minutes later. What Kind Of Star Wars Fan Are You? I love Star Wars and all manner of Science fiction and Fantasy. I'm a mom, my needs are second to the rest of the world, and I can't send the kid to bed hungry just because his father has the common sense of goose that just ate fermented feed. These may not be my rituals or beliefs, but I respect them and I'm always touched to be included, to be part of the big moments in their lives.

So last night, when I walked into a darkened apartment with no movement save for the excited tail of As Border collie who dozed on the couch, I breathed a sigh of relief, turned on the lights and instantly went about reclaiming my space. It looked like one of those sprinkle-all-night skies. Those experiences... All those things that they say guys love girls for is true!!!

The team I was on won the game. Might I add, that we were in such a rush that we forgot to get change for the parking meter!?!! But first, let me tell you about the game that showed up unannounced a week ago on Thursday. But when we finally got there, it was not the place I remembered.... so we drove on to the next place, but that wasn't it. And, I had this great idea that we would stop at this little place I remembered.

BARGAINING: Repeatedly telling LT that I don't want to watch this movie anymore. He told me he didn't want to try anymore, that it was killing our realtionship. Perhaps I don't base my life that way precisely because it is a fallacy of logic, but an accurate one nevertheless. I mean the whole point of this is - I can't see whats going to happen next.. and that scares me, I press my lips onto this mirror we call life and blow till my cheeks expand but I go nowhere, and neither does my breath. I just don't want to try anymore. That scares me to no end. I don't want to be second best all the time.

After school, I slept. I dont know if you can die from a broken heart. When will strange men get it through their heads that women do not appreciate it when you tell them to smile? But I don't want them to worry. How can you say to the woman, who has been with you for 16 years, that you don't love her? I just give my tithes to the church that I am a member in; the one that I have been going to for almost all my life; the one which I know will use the money for good... I discovered, much to my surprise, that Im actually not as against the idea of a gay styled wedding as I once was; once upon a time, I loathed the notion and would rant and rave along the lines of why is it necessary for us to mimic heterosexuals? Aunt Daphne made a delicious, tearfully-spicy cajun dish called Dirty Rice when we got back to the house, and that was pretty much the end of that day... other than the excitement when a tiny white gecko was found in the fridge. When I called them the other day to find out when they were open, I got someone very, very stern. And someone came by my grandma's house the next morning and told us that someone was driving down the road that night and fell asleep, lost control and ran into the pole and knocked all the power out on the whole street, and that noise we heard was that person hunched on over the horn of the car knocked unconscious.

I had a feeling it was gonna be a bit boring, so I decided to take Leahs letter with me and try and reply to it. The good news is i'm not feeling so badly anymore. If you're interested, give me a holler.. oh, and is that Shuggie Otis album any good? E-mail me if you're interested: dlandspark@diaryland. com.

Let's close with that. Shes the type of girl who I could, one day, fall hopelessly in love with, given certain circumstances. I mean, I know the phrase and all, but what the fuck is a dickens? Thanks for the message about 'mystery person' and his/her e-mail to me. Did you ever notice how much self-talk is tinged with what we think might be the opinions of others? I cant tell you how much time I have wasted in this lifetime on all the wrong ones.

Ungrateful daughter. I'll be praying for you and your step daughter. I'm back on your page, reading again, and praying for you. PPS: kim, if youre reading this, how many eggs and spam should i buy? I for one hoe that this break isn't a long one. Should I be worried that more people on the Internet said hello for my birthday than in my real life? If your internet's not working at this stupid time of the morning, go back to bed for a couple of hours and try again later. Ever get a song off of Kazaa and it sounds fine for the first 10 seconds so you burn it to a cd only to find out later that the song is full of garble that sounds like aliens talking?

How much have I had to drink? We have talked about moving in together before, but with the problems weve been having I dont know if thats such a good idea. The one I lost earlier was just one of many diary entries I've lost this week, due to AOL suckage or problems with the Diaryland database. So what have we learned from all of this, gentle Reader? Just last week there was a particularly powerful episode of Law & Order: SVU that had a child murdered, smothered by her adopted mother, with a pillow it affected me in a similar way; tears, a sick sting in my belly. However, we don't have any real common areas in this office, so only about six people who got their food ate it away from their desks and/or in the presence of others. And that really sucks, because they are one of the top chapters of their fraternity in the entire nation. They're trying to get 1 million signatures, and so far are only at the halfway mark. The thing about that is..