Then Ill show you what it's like. Then there's some tubing on one side for the water to go in, and considerably larger - and disconcertingly more see-through - tubing on the other side, which is for the water and... I'm obviously going through something because that would be the only way to explain to you that I'm going back for another round next week. Someone is trying to break through! I could see from the distance that it looked like a locket, and was elongated in shape. Our knuckles white and persperation obviously showing, Paul explained that the music is his son's - he plays it to stay awake on the long drives between Stewart and Prince Rupert where he works as a ship surveyor.

We had spent most of the last week exchanging emails and texts about what our vacation might hold in store. Know what I like about monkeys? Most of the things she said I thought already. Before I fell asleep, the very last thought I had of her was of her in her coat and her black velvet again, only this time, my father had opened the door for her, and she was stepping out into a soft, magical night. That was pretty much the last we thought about it until my mother died and my sister had the teddy bears made. My grandfather gave the coat to my mother before my mother met my father, and she used to wear it when she went out in the evenings. I hole the minority opinion that he is to be an object of pity, the product of a terrible upbringing and environment having molded a boy into a man who has profound difficulty in the world. He is dangerous and neither my mother nor my Godmother think I am up to the task of dealing with him. In fact, I think I could honestly say that she was the complete opposite. But that doesn't stop the fact that I miss the feeling of intimacy in your diary, of knowing you in a raw and unedited way, as you are, with your mistakes as well as your perfection. How would that introduction go, eh? If he can swallow his own cum and say it doesn't bother him that much, then so can you. What in my vision is so clouded that I can't see my own beauty, inside or out? Being happy for once really f-s you up because then when you fall out of that happiness stage you see around you that things really get to suck. Well, bla, these are the things you do when you're bored.

There's the free food and discounts part too. Ever get a song off of Kazaa and it sounds fine for the first 10 seconds so you burn it to a cd only to find out later that the song is full of garble that sounds like aliens talking? It's like being in a different world and it's one of the best feelings ever. Playing in the river was one of my favorite parts because it felt like a spiritual cleansing. What is your favorite thing in the whole world to do with your free time? When is your favorite time of day? Last night we watched Mean Girls for like the 10th time.. Then we - still sorta wet - left to go have an old fashined camp-like breakfast at IHOP - cause really, what more could we do? They still have a close eye on me with no faith in my powers, and I am a super power. And if I actually do get to sleep, I can't stay in bed too late because Torgo usually attacks my face if I'm not up and running before noon. Doctor Phil and his war audience, is probably the dumbest thing I have ever seen on modern television. And in fact, probably will not, if this stupid Rory-Lorelei feud doesn't get worked out real friggin' quick. A stupid poetic sort of story sort of. I smell the damp, the cold in greasy gears, the bare minerals that make up metal and oil and air. Skin that makes the dust i clean.

It's better to not risk the hurt right now when it's so very fresh that everytime I look at the pile of boxes I want to cry, everytime I think of my family I want to cry, everytime I wonder how I'm going to tell them I want to cry. Now THAT was an embarrassing situation. In the end it came up to S taking the phone off me, growling down it that we were in the middle of having sex and could she call back some other time. I'm sorry but I honked because he was in the middle of the road.

I like to get my world how I like it and have it never ever change. When i got home i got this call and it was like Would you like to take a collect call from the Fulton County Jailhouse. How would you like to die? Although I do believe that certain breeds of dog have the potential to be more agressive then others, like say, the pit bull is likely more of a danger then the toy poodle, I generally think that dog maulings are the result of poor parenting on the part of the dog owners. Secondly, I firmly believe that most of the dogs that end up attacking people are the result of bad homes. The sheer power of my will to never be within fifty yards of that office ever again would override every law of physics and might actually tear a black hole in the middle of Santa Monica by shredding the time/space continuum as my body reflected around the building. So, we finally get organized and ready to go with our 10 layers of clothes on, the girls stuff all packed to go back to the DFBs this afternoon, we get outside and the car is buried. I suppose that's all part of life - not knowing what's just around the corner.

I wanted to cry. Why not stick around to see how it all turns out? And now I am so wanting to just be with him all the time and start our lives together... I was sitting around drinking with a group of my friends and a discussion started about all our faults. All the sudden here comes Brandon, I give him a dirty look, cuz I was tired of seeing him. It's where all these mexicans make like they're poor, and they eat for free. I know just from being a foster parent that others are way too quick to blame the foster parents for any problems these kids have, so what do you do? I have several problems with this movie, as you expected. I have several problems with that. Did I *have* to drag out my books to find out who everybody else was supposed to be? Second, Marius is supposed to be golden or redhaired. As a film, it would have been incomprehensible without the background knowledge contained in the books. They both have incomprehensible names.

This is kind of his second name. This seems like a good use of paper. This was absolutely the most impacting year of my life. Thus bringing me to the third most difficult experience of my life. I'm addicted and its difficult to stop. I hate Xmas, I hate all the trouble my Mom goes to only to have it chucked back in her face. It was there that I found what I believe to my only talent - music. In past years it was all a fairly big production, there was enough drama in one night to satiate me now for an entire week, and plenty of grab ass and good old fashion fun. There was no affair this time, with either. Suffice to say, there was a lot of jealousy and bitterness at the studio, and John got the worst of it. Even Centerport reminds me of John; he had a studio there before he moved to Stony Brook. Part of my reason for wanting to move here was to continue my musical friendship with John, who was based in Stony Brook. I was a perverted child with a first-aid fetish. My first real boyfriend had just broken up with me.

This was my 444th entry. So, yeah, that entry was written in the summer of 2000. Might I add, that we were in such a rush that we forgot to get change for the parking meter!?!! Anyway, this entry is lame and angsty, I just figured I'd try that out since apparently everyone thinks that anything I write is supposed to be funny or something. You know, I figured I'd keep writing until I finally lost my virginity as the grand finale.

Or it could have been a fat man sitting on a bench smoking a twig who had just gotten covered in snow. Person that's called you: My mom to tell me she was going to order pizza so I could have some later. I still work for that publisher, and after 8 years of full time have finally come back to part time work, due to his selling the business to very large internationally known publisher. So I was generally privvy to every conversation she had with management, and it made me ill. What do you want to do that you havent done yet? And that would be to the point where I don't want to try. I just don't want to try anymore. Perhaps I don't base my life that way precisely because it is a fallacy of logic, but an accurate one nevertheless. Nevertheless, it's been well over a month since I even picked up my sketchbook with intentions to draw, so perhaps this new revelation will rekindle those flames that lay dormant. This amount can vary greatly from person to person, but is almost always a whole hell of a lot. I never really stopped to wonder why I thought that was what I would do, but thats just always been how I thought life worked. One guy saw that spectacle today by accident and I think it scarred him for life. If you really want to know how ridiculous I look, just e-mail me and I'll send you a picture. I've got it plugged in at my desk and when I feel the need to get really creative, I flip it on and watch it twirl away with its brightly colored plastic lenses.

I have to work nights now. What am I to do if this doesn't clear up quickly? I would love to be able to think of the girls everyday as a blessing and never wonder what I must have been thinking when I decided to have them and keep them. You see, one of you beautiful minds emailed me to tell me that while my cookie recipe truly was a thing of wonder, what I really should do is substitute a half a cup of cocoa powder for a half a cup of flour. If you really want to know how ridiculous I look, just e-mail me and I'll send you a picture. It doesn't help me be any more creative really, but it sure is pretty. Do you use the same tactics on boyfriends/bar tenders/ bounces etc? I just wasnt equipped to deal with it at the time, and Sherwin Im sure didnt know how to deal with the hysterical suicidal mess he had accidentally created.