Nothing compares. I remember playing with my dad, playing with matches or a lighter with some other kids at preschool, and of all things an arbor day where I planted a tree. After the way he treated me, it kills me that he even crosses my mind let alone makes me wince with regret that things didn't work out between us. How are things? So anyway, she told me all that, and she answered my question about how she thought I'd react, and I told her some version of what I've written here, essentially that I knew what the possibilities were, that she hadn't done anything that I was going to hold against her, and that I still wanted just as much to try to have a relationship. I thought she might try again so I went to turn the phone off but she bet me to it and rang me again. Not tormented, daily defeated by you, just when I thought I'd reached the bottom. Tell me again, I want to hear who broke my faith in all these years, who lays with you at night when I'm here all alone, remembering when I was your own. And I held your hand through all of these years that you still have on me.