Anyways, I had a good weekend and I got some time off of work so that ain't too bad either. Her and her friends seem pretty nice, we had a good time drinking and being loud later after the older part of the family went to bed! So, after that trip, we both put in only 3 days back at the daily grind and then we were on an airplane to Seattle, WA! After her Dad parked the car, we put on our backpacks and began hiking to where we would be sending the next four days, camping, swimming and fishing. Like, we would be ringing up someone, and all of a sudden a box would come up on the register, and we'd have to Press SPACE to make it go away! To stave off boredom, we used the one payphone in the school and would call the one freephone number that we knew of that wouldn't get us through to the emergency services or carpet information lines or things of that ilk - which was the BT operator. They gave me two choices, and I wound up taking the one in Wagner. The first time, I knew the answer to their little trivia question and called atleast 30 times. And, yes, I'm aware that it's kind of screwed up right now, I'm a bit lazy at the moment. I've got a very funny story about us getting involved with each other on the bed, and us rolling on his phone while it was ringing, and 'answering' the phone.

Nothing compares. I remember playing with my dad, playing with matches or a lighter with some other kids at preschool, and of all things an arbor day where I planted a tree. After the way he treated me, it kills me that he even crosses my mind let alone makes me wince with regret that things didn't work out between us. How are things? So anyway, she told me all that, and she answered my question about how she thought I'd react, and I told her some version of what I've written here, essentially that I knew what the possibilities were, that she hadn't done anything that I was going to hold against her, and that I still wanted just as much to try to have a relationship. I thought she might try again so I went to turn the phone off but she bet me to it and rang me again. Not tormented, daily defeated by you, just when I thought I'd reached the bottom. Tell me again, I want to hear who broke my faith in all these years, who lays with you at night when I'm here all alone, remembering when I was your own. And I held your hand through all of these years that you still have on me.

I mean I HAVE only inspired a few to start D-Land diaries too. Only so many times can I wonder whether Usagi's wails have caused a sonic boom. I mean I love them every time I think of them, but I still wonder what might have been best for all of us. Not to toot my own horn, but I dont think I have ever written anything more awesome than that supply and demand comment. Walton saw Willus hit me on my butt and he was about to write Willus up for sexual assualt but he didnt. I've finally arrived at something I think I might have known all along.

If I do, I'll tell you that too. Has he attached some deeper value to what was to me just a couple night of fun to distract me from the shambles that my life was at that point? The first 30km was a horrendous rollercoaster of gravel, headwinds and rain which had us debating whether to turn back. A weekend of wonderful food, a comfy bed, hot showers and incredible generosity later, we're packing the bikes again, ready to board a ferry to Port Hardy, Vancouver Island, tomorrow. I forgot to mention my wonderful Tuesday afternoon. First off, I have to briefly mention the wonderful ending of my semester. Last Tuesday, I had lunch with my friend Aaron. All the students are like treating him like a friend... Of coarse, you now owe your friend in return for the favor. Tell me that she wanted to try the relationship, and act like nothing had happened until she got here? I liked your openness here. He liked how I didn't mind going against the flow if I didn't agree with it and my openness. Thats fine I can write about him here and now put up a photo of him and me from 1988. Anyway, so it's like 8:30 and I went upstairs to find my dental card and see if I can call someone from Aetna. And while all this was going on we heard a noise like someone was just constantly pressing on the carhorn of a car.

I noticed that I was sitting on my hands in the restaurant this afternoon... I dont actually own this car and I dont actually intend on driving it anywhere else except when I am dropping off my teenage kids. Telephone conversations just dont do the trick I guess. I actually have been thinking about seeing my kids for a while. It was actually very shocking. But still.... seeing the ultra bright movie lights off in the distance, has it's appeal. Tell me she didn't want to try the relationship and then tell me what had happened and that she actually did want to try when she got here? Ah for it to be blindingly obvious that I have no standing and am nothing in the eyes of my boss. How fucking important do you think you are and where were you going in such a hurry that you cant slow down for stopped traffic? Family is important to me too, so I understand you being a little angry/annoyed. Hi Jen, I'd like to read your journal again... may you give me the password, please?

Heartless oaf. And that's another half hour of my life gone, you time wasting, life sucking soulless, heartless fiends. I'm glad you requested; I got to see a whole different perspective from the life of another and realized I'm not the only one who's psychotic. Rachel's Rating: {8/10} - These are always hard to do, because rating your diary means your WHOLE diary, and not just your content. I think you should make the extras allllll one page and then all of the extra links will be gone and your layout will look much better. What do you think about the layout of this diary? Who/what do you remind me of: Maybe I'm going crazy but I swear you remind me of a earth muse. Which church are you going to now? Which one of you single, horny bitches is going with me? I'll miss you bitches. I'm fucking sick of bitches not being able to lift their goddamn pinkie finger without checking with their fucked up man first. The had spent the rest of the afternoon in the pool skinny dipping and fucking repeatedly on the private deck, then once more on the sofa.

Itll be great. Adonis listened, with tilted head and great interestablished smiling, and asked me if I was writing a play about him. I am still a geek, and I still like writing about it. Unfortunately, my camera broke just as i was about to take pics at the air and space museum, so i had to use disposable ones the entire time. It would be one thing if my lack of compassion just came natural and I was a natural born heartless bitch. No, see, my lack of compassion comes from the lack of compassion that I view in others on a daily basis. It tells me that no matter what happens in your life that you'll always have the hope and the strength to go on and deal with it. Do you even read the notes I leave you? Oops, that user doesn't have their notes feature turned on!

Maybe music will help. Thanks again to everyone who has kept my friend in their prayers and in their thoughts recently. Do you live in a community that fosters your beliefs? Are you sure your political party is the same as your religious icon's would be?

I might go browsing for something similar. Thanks for the hi. I go through the same things, trying to make changes for the good and being hampered at every turn. I want to rip it through his amateur's larnyx and show him how small and weak and how stunted by youth it really is. When it came to others this wonderful man gave and gave of himself. This little fact should not affect my wonderful mood. First off, I have to briefly mention the wonderful ending of my semester. I've got court tomorrow for my first one, and ironically enough, I've got a wonderful new one to worry about now! I wish we could've gotten a chance to hang out more. So much so, that they had someone turn it down, and now it's not hot enough to take a hot bath... or even a luke-warm shower!!

I always got good grades but it was not until senior year that people saw me as somewhat cool. The first time is always hard. I always had my wall up. It was humiliating for her and embarrassing for my friends who really had no desire to read the things I was posting. And so I have been like a brick wall letting things just bounce off me, not caring about anything and being a fucking shit to her in the process. It just makes sense to plan on living around me because my brother has been in trouble with the law many times and my older sister is a hardcore drug addict.