Blushing, pulling petals off innocent red, blue, and yellow flowers. Things that a few months ago would have caused me to cry my eyes out for weeks now cause me to shrug, sigh, and wonder for a day or two. It's sad to know that my dreams were nothing more than simple childhood fantasies. Small yellow pika-like things that can balance glasses on their heads are always fun. They just think that we're seriously STUPID, they're really good, and they have the right to boss us around. I really am going to miss this and them over the summer. The first time, I knew the answer to their little trivia question and called atleast 30 times. And afterwards we are going to a birthday party of a guy we dont even really know. Has he attached some deeper value to what was to me just a couple night of fun to distract me from the shambles that my life was at that point? If you think about it grade 10 is just time to prepare yourself and get used to IB it is called PRE IB after all.. But I do think that it's weird that there was an accident, lots of alcohol, Colin, me and him hugging, and sobbing and Calling Out all in both my dream and the situation today in both of them... think God is reaching out to me? She mystifies me with the fact that we can both agree on something yet argue endlessly about it anyway.

But even at that age I knew that they told everyone who wasnt doing well that, so I shrugged it off. I dont take responsibility that is rightfully mine. But it means that they are not necessarily better, than any small thug trying to make a living in America. Do you hate things even though your faith doesnt necessarily require you to? Do you spend time trying to convince others that yours is The Way? Do you want to join mine? Yeah, snicker, but I did go to high-school in the 80s. I positioned my desk to face the shelf in the back of the room and for the rest of the year I did nothing but read.

I still haven't packed. So why and I still here? I mean he is out there and I am trying to find him a really nice girlfriend. What I really can't bear to face is that there is a man that I love more than life, that loves me in return, that I've continually hurt. Have I ever mentioned that I have the greatest father in the entire space-time continuum? He built me a computer and helps me out on technology problems I constantly have. So Vero and I have done what we could to encourage him to go out, meet people, try to socialize - but he seems to think that someone perfect will just drop into his lap and make his life wonderful for him. If you aren't going to lift a finger to help yourself, what makes you think someone else is going to help you? Tell me what you like about the Chrome Diary. I was going to tell you about the The Back Facial..... which was soooo incredible you just can't believe it....... but I'm going have to save that for later. When you go to see the Hearst Castle, everyone you know asks if you are going to stay in Cambria. When I first get here, I always feel so overwhelmed by all the many things that need to be done. They're pretty intertwined, but I don't trust someone to stay with me, to not end a relationship, or to not want things that could damage the relationship.

So I answered his note with a note about GPK and then I drew what he was drawing in his notes. He kind of laughed when he asked me what I use a helmet for and I was a little sketchy about telling him. Thanks for the message about 'mystery person' and his/her e-mail to me. Actually, I emailed Gossy a few days ago and got the form letter he's been sending out along with a link to groups. It was actually very calming, being almost naked in warm salt water, breathing without effort. Not a shark did I actually see, and I stood on the bottom a few times, feeling fancy. I really want to go, but with no sitter, it means paying for two people and Warren just isn't as intersted in the panels. I don't want to talk to anyone about this because I hate for people to feel sorry for me and so here I am talking to a computer! How is it that your family is going to be the happiest and most love?

Obviously, living as an example hasnt rubbed off on him a damn bit. My mom is all a twitter because Hudson Mack, formerly of CH News, starts his stint as the anchor for the news on The New VI tonight. I did notice the unbelievably cheap vinyl and I almost had to buy another suitcase to, not bring home all the souvenirs I bought, but for the music I found at Smash. During TORNADOS, people go outside to look for the funnel cloud. Thanks for the note, hope you have a good night. But am I the only virgin left on this planet? Iiii secretly have a girl crush on you. I have sat up waiting for Alfred to call me tonight. What have we done to our children? I'd been up to the observation deck twice, but on none of these trips did I have a camera. How many families waited to see if one of there loved ones was lucky enough to have been late to work that day, or unlucky enough to have maintained their record of punctuality? Or do I actually have to have a different skin color. It brings forward the question; Is one man worth saving, if you have to kill, to be able to save him?

Oops, that user doesn't have their notes feature turned on! Oops, that user doesn't have their notes feature turned on! Its been several months since I saw someone who looked like her and went to see their face only to be disapointed... If you aren't going to lift a finger to help yourself, what makes you think someone else is going to help you? Oh wow, i'd get into the personal stuff, but my room mates are going to bed now. He's going through a shitty work time and I give him that... it's tough, but at the same time he continues to be totally fucking loyal to this company.

I wanted to look like Tim Matheson when I was young... I had so much I wanted to say, but what I wanted to say would have caused such a scene in the middle of the restaurant that it would have risen above the din of the college football and baseball and basketball games. I wanted to ask if I was the one who should be hearing this and not my mother, perhaps? Someone needs to rub my head and throw a blanket over me, I make less and less sense as I get more and more worried about things. I mean overall it was a good vacation, I got to hang out with my cousins CorCor and Kny and JB and Nato, but the other baby cousin that I have is driving me up a wall. We thought it was a good place to stop, get a drink & maybe a snack, since we were kind of early in meeting my Kim. This was kind of the case with my husband and I. The stress of being a top athlete, model straight A student, and popular, leader-like teenager was too much for me to handle. What is it with not being satisfied?

Wrapped in nurturing love. In the dream I had last night was the first guy I can honestly say I fell in love with. Making love, kissing, embracing with so much love and affection, and being romantic towards the one I love. I would love to be a guy for awhile. Again, I couldn't take my eyes off him, and when I saw him walking towards the bathroom, I followed, hoping the connection would click. For $50,000: Would you have a tooth pulled with no anisthetic? For $50,000: Would you gain 50lbs? Who would you like to be, dream self or real self? Would you be my boyfriend? But, Would you be my boyfriend? My grandparents had tons of back issues of Reader's Digestablished and whenever I was at their house I would go through them specifically for the Survival! I was just browsing through and got caught up with things and I was enjoying myself. Just when I get caught up with my magazines to the point where I can start a new book - Friday Night Lights, one I've never read, but the current selection for the ESPN.com Page 2 Book Club - the New Yorker has to come out with its 200-page Politics Issue, Outside sends me a new issue and the Notre Dame alumni magazine arrives.

Dish It Up, Baby order The Book version of this diary or go to the book's web site & sign up for Dish! I have become more and more of this mindset as I have gotten older, and I think I have become a better person for it. For most of my adult life I have challenged the way people think, and for most of my life, I have had to suffer some heavy scrutiny for having those thoughts and ideals. These are the people that make this world livable for me. The current population of the world is 6,388,971,752 people. New York county's racial breakdown places African-Americans as 17.4% of its total population. Part of that was a lack of time on public access computers and the rest is I was just pumping out the shit as fast as I could write it. The computers were down which meant for forty minutes we were just sitting there and talking to eachother. We got very close to eachother, and he was so respectful. We already call eachother my wife or my husband. We aren't as close as we used to be, which really saddens me, but I still consider us good friends. So I missed Latin, which is the class I should have gone to - all I did in art was the TCE and the crossword puzzle. Yeah, sorry I have to be all legal on you here, but unless otherwise indicated, all that you read here is mine, mine, mine. But he is still here with all of us.

I wore these dorky glasses and no one knew my name. If I see a diary with one of those damn Comet Cursors, I won't read it unless it's REALLY GOOD. We were so much alike and we could even read each other's minds, although I think it's really because we knew each other so well. Or am I being completely rediculous again in supposing that those people either do really exist or that they do truly feel that way. The second thing it highlighted for me was that I actually really do like the people I worked with, including my replacement, Marcy. He always say the same thing and that man is such an idiot, he probably wouldn't even fit for laundoctor jobs. He probably wouldnt notice if my head was missing all together, just as long as the circumference of my chest is 90 times the circumference of my waist, hes happy. Wow mom, you think out of all the people in the world you would realize when I'm joking around and when I'm not. So, I think our subconsciouses realize that we are male and female, and that we shouldn't even talk or interact in any other way until we get it on. In other words, what was one thing that annoyed you about that particular person? God bless you, you are an awesome writer, you always speak from your heart and that's what makes your diary so meaningful. The challenge of coming up with a subject to write about and the practice writing causes you to start noticing things in your day that you would not usually notice. If you go to Girl you will see that i have updated it!!