I do not know. So do we all... I dont know how she did it, but she wanted us to have a good life, have the best of everything, and I think we took that for granted. And I just dont get it. I am in a really good mood and dont really have the concentration or desire to write right now, but I want to document the entire emotional cycle of returning home, so here I am! I realized that it's not worth saying unless you really mean it or if you feel the other person feels the same way and even so, I hold back. I'm the type of person who needs to be told straight out whether there's something there or not. I'd love to talk soon, but I don't use AIM anymore - is there some other way? It is very important that u realise the signs of the cult... some cults hide behind being Christian... there are many strange signs and pictures that may not even be apparent and r actually devil worship but r doing so unknowingly to everyone but the main inner circle of elders. And I think, then why the fuck should I? Today in gym Marie was being mopey as usual and asked me why I was mad at her. Well, we got the last of the rocks all moved as of dusk yesterday and now there's a bare hill in front of our house awaiting the arrival of the heavy equipment. When they ring the call bell two seconds after I was just in there and they want me to do something stupid like.... fix the blanket on their lap, I will ask them why they waited til I left the room. Imagine me young, in high school, listening to crap like Counting Crows and Tracy Chapman, and repeating the Air Supplys Greatest Hits CD that I stole from my mother on my Discman over and over and over again. The reason that I do not like Willow and Tara and they make me want to vomit is because I am a die hard Willow/Oz fan.

The run-though looked nice. At 10 p. m., I set out, heading north toward the expressway. Once I got off the north end of the bridge, I recognized the Yongsan area. I went to bed with the thoroughly erroneous notion in my head that Koalas' classes start at 5 p. m. We talked about the sound of cathode tubes and U V lights. I've never heard the original, but who cares? But I won't bother replying to her-I'm not black-and I know from the tone of my entry here, I would not be welcome to counter her message!! If you could be one person, who would you be? Again, where would you rather be living right now? Or at least you'd think she would.

He was eating Burker King and getting fries and trash on the floor. Shes in survivor mode and its getting harder and harder for her to hang on. Lately, everything around me looks different, and its getting harder and harder to remember what is staying the same. With aging, its not so much that your body is falling apart and your life is getting shorter, what hurts more is how the disappointments begin to accumulate. If @ all possible, if theres room left in this wish list, would You award him the ability to cope with the realities and harshness of life? No one should dare to even think about being the Commander in Chief of this country if he doesn't believe with all his heart that our soldiers are liberators abroad and defenders of freedom at home. Anyone who chooses Islam is to be considered a threat to this country and put in confinement. Miller talks about the flag and dead soldiers and then attacks the press and Democrats who question the president's policy. Are you old enough to remember seeing all of the Staw Wars movies in the theater when they FIRST came out? The president, national health care, and gay marriages. These political maneuvers were made so these men could maintain the were patriots while they teared down the pillars of democracy. They were all lovey dovey at the dance.

That, and I have sex. And that the sun will always shine. And I gain. The boyfriend doesnt smoke and I am glad. I had already gone outside to smoke, so I didnt see any of this, but I know the boyfriend was pissed about the whole thing! It was her, my grandmother, my aunt and her boyfriend/my step uncle. So we drove home and then went to her hotel where she and my grandmother were going to stay. We went to Burger King for lunch, and then came home and watched the football game, which the Texans probably lost, and we also watched some of the Astros game. I got a money order to pay a bill... and then some chips because we ran out of them... lol, and then some soda because we were just about out of it. I was kind of weirded out though because tomorrow Kaitlyn, Gary and I are going on a haunted hay ride at 9:30.

No shit. Shit, I may even eat something. Thank you for showing me that there is still something amazing and original out there. Right now we are working on designing the t-shirts which some guy is bringing in the stuff for us next week. Just standing there on the kids face - the kid I couldn't see. Stocklos and Andrew were only there for one of the nights I was. One of them is televised and we got great seats right behind the Wolves player's bench... Jen offered to do it for me, and in the meantime, we convinced her to ask Don one more time if she could go... The cool part is the night it is on TV, the kids are going with us, and they are such cuties... hehe. Sunday, B and I are going to try to shop for a futon cover, pampizan cushion, slipcover, and entertainment center. He gave a chuckle, and continued slipping in and out of me shallowly, yet quickening the pace of his tongue lashing at my clit. I owe a lot of my recent focus shift to the editor, who's been such a delightful presence in my life this year and the end of the last that I've had no room in my mind or my heart for the what-ifs and lingering longings that always came with a fleeting thought of the cameraman. The tidier thing was to acknowledge the break and try to stay friends, but as time went on and the drunk calls continued - coupled with half-serious entreaties to run away together - the more obvious it became that we'd have to have our finale.

I hear and see and feel clearly. I need to get into shape, get a utility belt, slap on some spandex and become a superhero. I was sitting around drinking with a group of my friends and a discussion started about all our faults. Not much else to say about that! After that I began drawing in my notebook, not feeling like encouraging more ink poisoning. It is their fault that Im like this. I told my mom about it. Around here, everyone talks about this place.... almost every woman I know in Los Angeles has been taken into the men's restroom at one time or another by boyfriends who must show off the urinal! A nap taken early in the afternoon to prepare for the night's party, after you've already been drinking. I'm not thinking about serious friendships and certainly not a relationship of any kind for at least two years, if then. Im thinking of just giving up altogether and embracing the lifestyle to which my mouth has certainly become accustomed. I've been running around most of my teen and young adult life in fear of, feeling shamed by, and feeling guilty about food. AVG protects my computer how am I feeling? Result: Psychotically Happy Underwear Guy will cheer you when you turn your computer on, and jeer you when you turn your computer off. If this is your username and you're wondering how to make your profile, just click here.

None of that stuff reached me.. Once that point is reached, it makes me wonder why I am even trying, what the point is. When ever I see a dog with enormous balls I have to wonder has that dog ever tea bagged his owner when they where sleeping? I wonder if Howard and Dan will try to talk to me before Chander comes in or if they will just try not to look at me. It's nothing I would ever buy for myself, but now that I own one, I wonder what I've been doing without one for so long.

Then you didnt love. He called me at like 10 something but I didnt answer and then I called him back. Theres something about an Air Supply song. I was told i bird walk, it means like, talking about something, going off on a tangent and talking about something completely different, then going back to what i was talking about before like i havent been ranting about something else for the last 5 minutes. A complete 180 from last week and the week before, I think it has something to do with the fact I haven't seen/talked to Gus since last Tuesday. Here I should say that we went to Liverpool and went on the 'magical mystery tour' on our family vacation when I was 16. If youre not thinking anything in particular, and youre confused about what it is that you should be thinking, its not as simple as, What the hell is wrong with you? So we were all going along thinking that those cookies were the very best cookies ever cooked. I can't really think of anything else that happened at the dance but it was definately the best dance that I have ever been to. I think this was the first dance that not for one dance was I wandering around hoping for someone to dance with me. That just freaked me out for the rest of the time I was there so I had to put that in this journal so someone could feel the same way that I did when I found out, that person is fine though, they just walked away from the hospital with cuts and bruises which is something to praise God for cause it coulda been way worst then it turned out to be. I love the fact that I found a job where I am appreciated for the hard worker that I am and not just slapped around like some kind of idiot or something. I mean overall it was a good vacation, I got to hang out with my cousins CorCor and Kny and JB and Nato, but the other baby cousin that I have is driving me up a wall.

You've decided to have some work done? He said he owned a big horse ranch in Montana, that he didn't have to work because he had inherited a lot of money... just a big line of crap. Plus I think he got some offer from a company in CA, but I told Ray that I would sooner swallow a bag of nails than move to CA. Would you pick it up, slap, and rub it all over? Again, the story is a little fuzzy, but I know he was always coming over to our area of the office to sharpen pencils, in a very dorky way. Oh, your Christians will give you nibbles of salmon diluted with mayonnaise and shoved into one of those dainty little crustless sandwiches, but slabs of actual fresh salmon? The fish might have been the sign of the early Christians, but they're tight-fisted with the salmon. If they have been here several generations, ask which country they wish to go to. One of Dan's uncles and his wife have three kids who serve as reassurance that I made the right decision with respect to childbearing. HATES: People who say that I HAVE to do things that I don't want to do... Theyve made it clear that they do not want anything to do with my life at this point, nor do they care about it. But that doesn't mean I have to like it. However, what kills me isn't just that I know that I did poorly, but, also, as I was sitting at my seat, it made so much sense; it felt so right. And then getting her to arrange a time with Lynn, so that I can tell her just with me and Tal there.

I felt dumb cuz I kept scooting closer and closer to MJ until we were right next to each other and then I realized I was doing the same thing to him as WD was to me. Im thinking of just giving up altogether and embracing the lifestyle to which my mouth has certainly become accustomed. And it certainly brings its own problems, too. I have several problems with that. At the beinning of Interview with a Vampire, Anne Rice has a little video forward, in which she expresses that she'd had some reservations about the people who played the characters, etc., but having seen it, she really thought it was well done. I see SweetlyBlue making my little scoff sounds, and the thought of that cracks me up. Now that I know, I'm asking why. So how the fuck am I supposed to tell this girl that I cant handle seeing her when apparently everyone else can..? And then getting her to arrange a time with Lynn, so that I can tell her just with me and Tal there. I wonder if I've just totally lost all ability to cope with life's little let downs or if I truly have been getting fucked over all my life.