My room is hopeless. Imagine my surprise at receiving instructions on my first night on how to milk tubing and empty drains by a visiting friend who is also an oncology nurse. And Heddy and I had decided to get together Sunday night for drinks and a chance for us to chat, and talk stuff over. Its feelings like these that grip my soul and wake me weep. My efforts backfired, yet I was unable to stop myself from posting my feelings. I plan to remove the most inflammatory entries first and then remove the rest as I save the ones that I want to keep for myself.

The insecurities abound. Who the hell voted for that song, anyway? Anyway, I still wanted to see all of my friends, so I arranged the lunch date. I wanted to share this. Btw, in the local newspaper was a huge article about this certain street. A couple of days ago I had a horrible sore throat but bought pills immediatly and the sore throat is gone, but I still cant breathe through my nose and I wake up way too early out of this reason and then I am tired and exhausted the whole day. Just a couple of days until my Mom gets here.

Honey and pepper-crusted pork tenderloin with apple, cranberry and walnut stuffing, garlic and rosemary mashed potatoes, maple butternut squash and sugar snap peas for dinner, and molten chocolate cakes with fresh whipped cream for dessert. Mom and I went to a bridal fair on Saturday at the Copley Marriott. Den aLSo went TO MINi TOonS and oTher PLAces o hyar comics collection or sumthin lidat.. Hello, & welcome to my collection of poetry. Then if I get one I have an excuse to get a car or at least to rent one all the time and go all over to film people and geenrally be annoying.

Having a Veruca Salt moment, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ tells his servants that if he can't have figs out of season, aint nobody having figs! Why can't we eat in Africa tonight? I can't even listen to the whole thing with full attention anymore. I told my wife, and the next day she gave $20 to a charity. Am I just supposed to sit here and pretend to be amused for the NEXT sixteen years? The computer will probably be out of date by next month, and besides, what is the only thing that runs forever without getting tired? But that doesn't stop the fact that I miss the feeling of intimacy in your diary, of knowing you in a raw and unedited way, as you are, with your mistakes as well as your perfection.

I'm afraid I was disappointed just as I feared reading your first entry. Ever get a song off of Kazaa and it sounds fine for the first 10 seconds so you burn it to a cd only to find out later that the song is full of garble that sounds like aliens talking? He was my first and I thought I was in love. Before I fell asleep, the very last thought I had of her was of her in her coat and her black velvet again, only this time, my father had opened the door for her, and she was stepping out into a soft, magical night. I thought in college they were supposed to let you advance, rather than try to crush people. Softly, sweetly, a scent so faint that I thought I was hallucinating rose from the seam. I thought of the time my parents came to visit me in Hawaii, and how much she loved it there. Back in the 1940s, when people didnt complain so much that this job or that one was beneath them and they took any work that amounted to an honest days pay, my grandfather took a position as a tanner, and he learned how to stencil patterns onto calfskin so that it looked like something other than what it was. Did you see that they have a ring for stephanies? You see what I mean about selling myself short, but I have to wonder sometimes if that's actually what i'm doing. You see, one of you beautiful minds emailed me to tell me that while my cookie recipe truly was a thing of wonder, what I really should do is substitute a half a cup of cocoa powder for a half a cup of flour. O.K., um, heh, well, I found myself warning the guy that I was dressed for Halloween. I just give my tithes to the church that I am a member in; the one that I have been going to for almost all my life; the one which I know will use the money for good...

So Ive never liked the dumb song. He was funny and always liked to make me laugh. He always looked forward to what I was going to say during the daily check-ins because I was always full of surprises. I was going through the website during my computer class. I would have liked to toss back a couple of beers with him, I tell you what. Now you would think I would be up watching the Red Soxs game as it is still going on... Again, I couldn't take my eyes off him, and when I saw him walking towards the bathroom, I followed, hoping the connection would click. The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. It's now Monday, the day we were supposed to find out and I have heard absofuckinglutely nothing. We were supposed to find out by today if we're in or not and Jon, one of the guys in my ad group, who is also applying for this class, said he suspected we would find out on Friday. Josh and I were the first ones there, and Viola walked over to us and talked.

Tonight I feel very sad. Hope this situation isn't catching cause I don't know what I'd do without you guys. I hope you all have a great Halloween. It might have been a floor-length skirt, or an evening dress, I really cant tell.

I want to name it Buttons so I can call it Butt. Here I am in this sleeping slumber struggling to wipe the shit out of my eyes so I can see the damn old mecury Q-tips basal thermometer- I wait 5 minutes, coming in and out of consinous and then.... I am betting now that Dan called Howard in to do this because he couldn't. After 20 minutes of waiting, with Isaac rushing to the 4th floor to get some essentials and rushing back down because he hates making people wait for him, found his wife fuming. Kourtnee told the waitress that we were waiting for someone.

Satan's Laundromat. And he is Demetri's friend, so he would probably think he was being disloyal to him if he went out with me anyway. It turns out that Demetri and I have nothing to say to one another. I off-loaded all my high school knowledge and feel fine about it, excepting that class where they taught me how to balance my checkbook, what was that called? I kept thinking about how when we are children how much we want to please adults and how easy it is to incorporate their memories into our own. If youre not thinking anything in particular, and youre confused about what it is that you should be thinking, its not as simple as, What the hell is wrong with you? I know what youre thinking. I think you're getting bored of me blabbering on about nothing. Then there was saturday I full on sucked up to my mum all day like cleaning and vacumning my room and I also did like 5 hours of homework: O just so I could go out with Chris and some other friends that night, I wish I didn't, the night was horrible well actually I wish I did go but just not have drunken the alcohol, I'm not going to go into too much detail about it cause I dont know whos prying eyes are going to read this. Well we thought we had cleaned it up, but there was still abit on the sink and it also clogged up the sink so that whenever you turned the tap on all this spew would come up from the plug hole, So yeah in the morning everyone knew including my parents, so was I in trouble or what, but I couldn't care less cause I had the biggest hangover, urghh I felt so bad, I was dizzy, had migraines and my stomach urggh my stomach still hurts now. When I couldnt smell anything anymore, I scratched the fur against the grain, and the scent came back a little bit stronger, but still faint. Think of it this way, the more you do this, and the more the world doesn't freakin' end, the less you will be afraid of it. This kind of sounds inappropriate also, if you think about it hard enough.

Learn, grow, move on. Then he laid back down on the couch, writhing in pain. She was vomiting and pooping and then she laid on her side and was panting on the floor. I also dreamt that my married aunt was living up above them and they sold or gave her their couch to sleep on. If you were expectng a visit from the president, what would you change about the way your home looks right now? The only difference is that i gave in and i had to do things that i didn't want to do, like listen to them talk when i didn't exactly have the time of day. Its hard to judge the... pro's and con's or whatever you would call them with those two. The most important, oh Reader, is in that area which receives, in general, only a modicum of attention anyway. You command attention because you are afraid of being seen for what you really are: a lost, scared little child. You yourself are self-destructing, but you cover the rubble with pomposity so no one will ever know that there's really nothing to you. Exactly how many months are you?