Noting there was no opposing traffic nearby, I managed to swerve/slide my car into the left lane and pull into that downhill access road leading to those two parking lots. Think that was my bodys way of telling me to cool the fuck down with the self poisoning on so many fronts. But don't waste your breath telling that to the leaders of my party today. I wanted to email you to tell you that I liked your diary and that I'd help with the html. Some days it's a pity that I don't utilize this to everyone else's benefit, but I know that it's something I would later regret. All I felt I had left was Sarah, the long time girlfriend that was always by my side. I knew this was something I had to do, but the internal fighting began to wear down my upbeat attitude which changed to a negative, depressed personality. I would say that I had a very happy three years, but the drinking covered how I was truly feeling. If i was happy with myself, it might get a little better. Or sleep, which might be a little more important considering I didn't go to bed last night until seven o'clock this morning. Which, considering we have a new baby here, is a great thing.